Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Stupidly is not a crime, so you're free to go.

I keep looking at this blank page and wondering what to write.

Dear Land of the Internets (read Malcolm)

Christmas is coming... now usually this would involve the sun getting hotter and the ground beneath me burning my feet - I do live in Australia after all.
But with the Global Climate change... Winter just can't leave right now... who knows maybe it will change so much, that we will have snow too...

I am super duper Jelly that you will have an amazing Christmas Mal.. you may even receive a gift from me... who knows.

From my last post, you'll notice that I said I was going to go on a date.. and internets, I can never lie to you... so I'm going to tell you something.
I never went.
For so many reasons. I only tell some of the reasons to friends that ask... but one of many was that voice of Mal's running through my head, telling me that this would be the end all and be all.
That after this one date, we would then be considered a couple and then everything would just be moving so fast.
With my freaky ability... I could already see where this was heading.
and I didn't want it.

So onwards and upwards. Moving forwards.
In response to your last post Malkie Poos... I know how it feels to not have your family around.
To fight for the right to your own milk.
To have these somewhat strangers in your life and not know how you lived before knowing them.
I miss that. I hardly get to hear from my old house mates, and I miss them terribly.

Also I'll have you know that I feel the cold - very much. But I prefer it, which is also an issue living in Australia - one of the hottest countries in the world, where a 40C or above day is not unheard of in Summer.

I have decided not to become a teacher at the moment, and I am going to give my journalistic abilities a chance. Over the next year I plan to bump up my experiences... and then apply for some cadetships at the end of 2012. Maybe I'll be able to become a foreign correspondence - the dream job of every journalist.

Every where I look, and every one I talk too, I am just reminded that Perth is not the place for me.
Though I need a job to leave... and at the moment that is one of the hardest things to find.
My friends keep going on holidays, and just leave me here.
Me with the christmas cards to give to those who left.
(Let me hear you say it.. awwww)

Found the New York section in the book store. 

I have to start a dream jar soon, as I have all these dreams and I'm finding it hard to follow just one.
Still waiting to hear from my Fairy Godmother.

Till next time internets,

Thursday, 1 December 2011

Delayed responses have the most meaning/ I forgot

Dear Morwenna,

So London is being London.  Which is amazing, cold, whimsical, grey, party central and void of happiness.  Who knew there could be so many contradictory feelings for one city. 

So I guess I'm sorry, because it's so hard to offer advice via the ways of Facebook and email.  Messages aren't really conveyed the same way that a face to face talk works out.  Any how let me update you on the current escapades.

I took off to Prague with a friend for 4 day... one of the most amazing city's I've ever seen.  I still have day dreams about the best roast beef I've ever had from there.  Along with an amazing trip I procured another Starbucks mug to add to my collection... (don't judge me I'm awesome- 10 mugs now).

My Prague Mug
Living on ones own you face a multitude of new decisions as well; whether to go out on a week night with work the next day, whether to turn down a job due to dignity or buck up because rent is due next week and one of the hardest decisions I face... whether to buy food or red wine.  Yeah hard decisions.  Another battle/ blessing is the prospect and idea of housemates.  They're you family away from family and the shoulders you cry on.  I'm glad the people I'm living with at the moment help make my new home a home.  There is the occasional exception of course... "Bitch did you eat my cheese?" etc you know the stereotypical moocher of the household, but alas they're usually the quirky/ nutter of an aunt that you put up with.

So I'm a high school teacher, so not only do I possess one of the most soul draining professions in the world, well apart from law, but add to having students who need to be padded down before classes and I now understand why I was covering some woman's stress leave.  I have to say though starting off at Oasis Academy was a battle but after 1 week  I loved teaching those kids and the battle was worth seeing the cogs turn in their vacant minds.  What I find out at this school though is that I hate Blackberry's... freakin' BBM... pain in my ass.

Speaking of ass I joined a gym.  Hoping to ward off the 'Heathrow Injection' and do some toning.  Turns out the gym is like a mecca for getting rid of stress too.  After yelling at a group of Yr 8's, well that's a rush in itself seeing the little bastards shrivel up at tone of my voice like a fat mans genitals in the cold wind, but pounding out 20mins on the treadmill, using the TRX or a Yoga class brings me back to my happy place.  I came to London 75kgs... I'm currently 66kgs at the moment, I'm just going to focus on toning and less cardio from now on.

Another new happy place is the Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park... Christmas on Craic!  It's everything that sugar flavoured dreams are made off!!!  Gingerbread, Mulled Cider, Bars on Carousels, Bratwurst, Cocoa, thrilling rides and ice skating.  Megan you'd be at home.  Plus  you never feel the cold so you'd be fine :-D
Prague/ Blonde days walking down my street/ Halloween

Till next time



Wednesday, 9 November 2011

I like to be in America - West Side Story

Dearest World of the Internets,

I have a date next week - that's right, living up to Malcolm's expectations of people from Perth. That we all must settle down, else we're doing something wrong. 
It is true, here in little old Perth we are frowned upon when it is discovered that one is still single. 
It is like any small town I guess.

Being the middle child of my little family, it is expected that I will be the one who never leaves, and stay with my Mummsie and the pets till I grow old and die... yet ironically it is also expected that I will be the one to carry on the family genes, and raise the next lot of musical geniuses.
Thanks to being from a legacy family. I feel like I should be part of a sorority house. 

So, like always I'm torn. 
Many people believe that I do don't make decisions well. That is is difficult for me or that I don't really know what I want; and to a small part I guess they are a tiny bit right.
But they are also mainly wrong. 
I have this weird ability, I am able to think things through at a speed any Olympian would be aiming to beat - except maybe the walkers, but that is not a real sport, so I'm ok with that. 
I can already think of four different outcomes while others are still trying to analyse the question, what ever it may be. 
I'm also quite easy going. So what either seems like nonchalance or like I'm giving in, is me picking one of the options. 
As to why I am telling you this, I promise there is a reason. 

My ability was made quite evident, when recently I was asked to be a director for a cast devised pantomime of Snow White. 
I could fix problems, choreograph a dance routine to Single Ladies and fill in for missing cast members all within the same moment. I have the same ability when chatting to friends or answering what I want for lunch - if all options seem equally agreeable to me, well then - why not give the choosing of this decision to someone who cares more about it than I do. 

However, and here lies the rub. I need to go to New York. 
I don't have five different thoughts about that. It is one singular thought. 
What I do have a million thoughts about is leaving home, more so leaving my mum. Leaving the life I have here.
When I told people I was moving to Sydney I was told I was being brave, to leave everything behind. I wasn't brave at all. More so I was selfish. I was doing something for myself, and as a middle child, that hardly ever happens. 
As an actor, that happens all the time - told you torn.

But moving to New York. It is not so much as being brave, as much as letting go and being strong. 
Strong in what you believe in; yourself, your friends, family, your life. 

I pray that my mum will be ok when I leave.

Because I will leave. I will leave this small town, this country which asks its people the same questions every day, yet its never happy with the results. 
Mal left this country and all the best to him for being able to do it. But it is not the end. 

Without it ever really being talked about Mal and I knew that moving to New York was our dream. Together we have known the other wants it just as bad. 

So please, see this blog as a promise, possibly to each other, and to everyone that reads it.
That we will make it, New York is waiting for us.

And it better be ready when we finally arrive.


Monday, 7 November 2011

Missing my home brewed coffee (pron; KAW-FEE)

Malkie to Megan (aka Morwenna),
Dad wrote me a letter last night, which he emailed to me.  Titled- “I miss you son.”
Sweet and sincere yes… Massive guilt trip… HELL YES!
He inadvertently wrote how he wants me to come home around January get a job at a school in Perth and never leave again.   It’s hard because I love my family and this whole move has been emotionally draining on them and me. 
I question this everyday, when should I go home…?  There are days when I’m so homesick I could just jump on a plane and run home and crawl in my bedroom under the covers.  Then I breathe and think what then would the whole point of me leaving be?  What would I have accomplished?  Where would I then go?

Cannot believe I’ve been away for almost 3 months now.  It’s weird though, only recently I began feeling nostalgic and having those vivid dreams about friends and family at home.  Which probably has some underlying cosmically relevant information… too bad I don’t keep a dream diary huh.

I know, wholeheartedly, that Perth is not for me when it comes to any ideas of settling down.  I don’t love the city, I think it’s home but there is so much still out there undiscovered, so many people yet to meet.  If I left for home in the next month or two I would have betrayed the ambitions and dreams that enabled me to come to the decision of leaving in the first place.  I believe there is a drive revving behind an individual which allows them to make life altering decisions.  Some people let the drive steer them to new experiences and opportunities where others put on the brakes, get married, have a baby (not necessarily in that order), work a repetitive 9-5pm job, live in the suburbs in their newly built 1 storey property, divorce, remarry a Thai lady boy and there is the Perth vicious cycle.

Here in London, I’ve been on dates with people.  Actually dates where you’re asked out or you ask someone out… it’s amazing!  Back in Perth as soon as you have a date you’re a couple, what the hell…?  The whole idea of dating is the road test.  Perth doesn’t believe in that, cows are bought with excess milk (usually a kid procured at 16 and a past drug addiction.)  Here in London there is no social stigma in being single.  People prefer being single and free and not rushing in to a relationship that is the be all end all.  They’d rather have crazy night with a group of friends/ randoms, or take of for a mates weekend to Paris.
So many times in Perth when I was at a special occasion with my happily “coupled” friends the question would come up “So… Malcolm… anyone special?” or “Still single huh…?”

All I can say now to that is… Yes I am still single, Yes I fucking like being single and have no intention of ever getting in to a serious relationship for sometime.  Kudos to all of my close (though daft) friends who have those serious/ married/ defacto/ degenerative relationships. I have tabs on the ones that will ultimately end in divorce but high hopes for the ones I believe will work out. 

Now I’m not a pariah.  Just some thought I had burning in my head at the moment.  Thanks for dearest Fathers email request for me to come home and settle down.  I miss my friends and my family.  I don’t have those strong connections here and find I am doing more things by myself.  But this newfound independence is my drive.  It’s fierce and competitive, it’s risky and contagious, and it’s enabling me to make new friends that are becoming like family to me.  I live in a rougher neighbourhood and deal with students who probably instigated and the primary culprits of the London riots.

However not all of my pupils are the scummy little chavs, some are quite intelligent and ingenious actually.  Today one of my Year 11’s decided the best way to sneak vodka in to Prom is to funnel it in to a water bra.  Of course some of the other girls met this idea with some scepticism, however once I suggested they pour out the vodka from their bras in to a glass in the bathroom then replenish their depleted bust with water, this seemed to win them over to the idea.  All in one Economics class, even in a class I’m not familiar with I seem to find an outlet to reach my students in.

I feel these experiences are strong building blocks that will shield my soft shiny inner being from the harsh cold realities of the entertainment industry & ultimately New York.  Where I’m certain the true test lies.

I leave you for now with this belated post… sorry I have a life & real issues like rent, work, groceries, lack of red wine… and sometimes too much red wine.



Tuesday, 18 October 2011

To leave or not to leave - that was the question

When Mal said he was thinking about leaving - I was asked if I wanted to join.
At the time, I was living in Sydney - furthering my job opportunities.
The idea sounded amazing.
But I was only doing a Bachelor of Arts - he was going to use his Bachelor of Education to get a job... I had no idea on how I would get a job with a major in theatre studies.
I then went part time in my studies, which meant I was stuck in Freo for another year.
Mal left in August this year, leaving me in my last semester.
So he is now onto bigger and better things, while I am still in this city of Perth - the most isolated capital city in the world.

BUT we have a goal, a plan we've had for almost as long as we have been friends.... we will live in New York.
So this blog is going to follow how that plan eventuates.
See on how we two silly kids will make our dreams come true.
Before he left me...

Megan xox